Conflict Resolution Information

CAPS

(479) 575-5276

UAPD

(479) 575-2222

Psych Clinic

(479) 575-4258

Northwest Arkansas Rape Crisis Center

(479) 927-1020
           or
(800) 794-4175

Arkansas Crisis Center

(888) 274-7472

Full Circle Food Pantry

Conflict Resolution Information

 

ABC(D) Model for Resolution

Achieve rapport - Establish trust, explain your role in the interaction, make the other party feel comfortable, find an appropriate time and place to meet, begin on an even playing field.

Boil down the issues - Listen carefully, ask questions, get the “whole” story, address fears which might keep others from moving towards a solution.

Clarify their wants - Don’t make assumptions, ask clarifying questions, ask “what if” questions, find out what their issues and goals really are and what they want to accomplish.

Develop a game-plan - Collaborate, brainstorm possible solutions, be creative, be clear about what you can do and what they need to do, discuss a general time line in which things will get done and approximately when you will talk again.

Things to Remember:

  • Be wary of jumping to conclusions or making assumptions.
  • Empathize, don’t sympathize.
  • LISTEN, ask questions, LISTEN, ask questions...

Dealing with Difficult People or Situations:

  • Restate the other party thoroughly both repeating the content of what was said and acknowledging the feeling behind what was said. Ask them if you understood correctly or if there’s something they feel you haven’t heard.
  • Make a list of the main issues and then tackle them one by one. Look for common interests and start there. Help refocus the other party when they start to stray.
  • Check out their commitment to resolving the problem. Explain what you can realistically help with and what role they will need to play to accomplish their goals.

Conflict Resolution Strategies & Tips

Use the Language of Neutrality:

  • Tell me more about...
  • Can you give me some examples of...?
  • Have you encountered this problem before? How did you deal with it then?
  • If this situation occurred again, how would you handle it differently?
  • What I hear you saying is...
  • Can you suggest a solution that could resolve the problem of...?
  • If (name) is willing to… does that change what you would consider as a solution?
  • Do you see a way of doing that?
  • What would make this solution work for you?
  • What feels like a fair solution to you?

Rx for Prevention:

  • Communicate needs….to everyone who is responsible for knowing.
  • Know the channels….the university can easily appear to be a complicated bureaucracy.
  • It’s important to understand its policies and the channels you must go through to resolve your problems.
  • Don’t procrastinate! In most cases, the longer you wait, the harder it will be to solve your problem.

Seek Assistance:

Everyone has different abilities, at different times in their lives, to deal with adversity. There are several resources on campus to assist you. Ask for help when you’re stuck, need information, need ideas, or just need someone to listen.

Roommate Conflicts

Roommates who value and exercise mutual respect and consideration for one another, are much more likely to have a successful and lasting roommate relationship. An integral part of community living is learning to resolve concerns and issues in an appropriate and effective manner. Dealing with conflict as a student can be challenging, especially when the conflict is with someone you interact with each day. When trying to address a concern, or resolve a conflict, here are some things to keep in mind:

  • Get to know your roommate and neighbors. This will help you anticipate each other's individual needs and schedules, and encourage cooperative behaviors.
  • Be respectful of the personal belongings and space of others, and encourage the same respect towards your space and property.
  • When a conflict arises, talk with the other party regarding your concerns. Chances are they may not even know their behaviors are affecting you.
  • Try not to procrastinate resolving the problem…..avoiding conflicts usually means they will escalate and become more difficult to address later.
  • Find a time and place when and where you will both be able to comfortably and openly discuss your concerns.
  • If you are living on campus, become familiar with housing policies, procedures, and resources available to you within your residence hall.
  • If you are uncomfortable speaking with your roommate or neighbor regarding a conflict, contact someone neutral who can assist you in your approach, or help you think through your options. Some resources to assist you include: If you are living on campus, Resident Assistants, Resident Directors, and Counselors-In-Residence; if you are living off campus, Off Campus Connections.

Dealing with Anger

The following tips have been contributed by CeCe Hilliard, LCSW, from Counseling and Psychological Services.

Anger is a powerful emotion that operates off of adrenaline and initiates our fight or flight reactions. Anger can be a positive when it empowers us to speak up for ourselves or someone else who is being wronged. It can also be a negative when it is expressed through verbal or physical threats or violence, or is suppressed and carried by the angry person. The only difference between the two is how a person has learned to express his/her anger. Here are some suggestions that could be helpful, if you feel like you might want to make some changes:

Ways to Healthy Anger & Staying in Control

  • Become aware of your feelings and behaviors.
  • Take responsibility for your emotions and responses.
  • Monitor your attitude. Negative reaps negative!
  • Don’t be your own worst enemy. Monitor your self-talk.
  • Don’t try to control others, or they will end up controlling you!
  • Develop resources and a positive support system.
  • Develop healthy self-care behaviors.
  • Work on increasing positive feelings towards yourself.
  • See your successes, no matter how small.
  • Admit your mistakes. They are really just opportunities to learn.
  • Choose your actions carefully. Some may lead to dead-end roads!

RULES OF FAIR FIGHTING

DON’T:

  • Make fun of others
  • Hit, push, or touch the other person in any way
  • Yell
  • Interrupt
  • Make faces (roll your eyes, glare, sneer, etc)
  • Attack the other person’s personality
  • Use name-calling
  • Bring up old issues
  • Avoid talking about the real issue
  • Say dismissive phrases (“just forget it,” “tough,” “big deal,” “so what,” etc.)
  • Try to win
  • Invade the other’s personal space

DO:

  • Stick to the main issue.
  • Talk in a normal tone of voice.
  • Start sentences with “I,” not “You”
  • Verbalize your feelings.
  • Breathe normally and deeply.
  • Know what you are upset about and be clear about it.
  • Make good eye contact.
  • Be willing to agree to disagree.
  • Take a time-out, when needed.
  • Keep things in perspective.
  • Listen, Listen, Listen

Good Neighbor Relations

Neighbors who value and exercise mutual respect and consideration for one another are much more likely to have successful relationships. An integral part of community living is learning to resolve concerns and issues in an appropriate and effective manner. Dealing with conflict as a student can be challenging, especially when the conflict is with someone living nearby. When trying to address a concern with a neighbor, or resolve a conflict, here are some things to keep in mind:

  • Get to know your neighbors. Greetings as simple as a “Hi” and a wave can get conversations started. Knowing your neighbors will help you anticipate each others’ needs and encourage cooperative behaviors.
  • Be respectful of others’ personal belongings and space, and encourage the same respect towards your space and property.
  • When a conflict arises, talk with the other party regarding your concerns. Chances are they may not even know their behaviors are affecting you.
  • Try not to procrastinate from resolving the problem. Avoiding conflicts usually means they will escalate and become more difficult to address later.
  • Find a time and place when and where you will both be able to comfortably and openly discuss your concerns.
  • Become familiar with local ordinances and be sure that you and your roommates are in compliance.
  • If you are uncomfortable speaking with your neighbor regarding a conflict, contact someone neutral who can assist you in your approach, or help you think through your options. Some resources to assist you include: Off Campus Connections.

Conflict Resolution Resources

Office of Equal Opportunity and Compliance - Information about procedures relating to affirmative action, equal employment opportunity, and the University's effort to increase and ensure diversity is available. For further information about the office and services, call (479) 575-4019 or visit http://oeoc.uark.edu/

Arkansas Employee Assistance Program (AEAP) - AEAP provide counseling, information and management consultation for employees who experience some form of personal distress. For more information, call (511) 686-2588 or visit http://www.uams.edu/eap.

Center for Educational Access (CEA) - The Center for Educational Access plays an important role in providing equal opportunities for students with disabilities and serves as a liaison between administrators, faculty and students. For more information, call (479) 575-3104 or visit http://cea.uark.edu/.

Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) - Free, confidential counseling services are available to all enrolled students at the University of Arkansas. For more information, call (479) 575-5276 or visit the Counseling and Psychological Services website at http://health.uark.edu/caps.php.

Dean of Students - For general student concerns, the Office of the Dean of Students offers a wide variety of educational programming, as well as advising and referral services for individual students and many student organizations. The Dean of Students can be reached at (479) 575-5004 or you can visit http://dos.uark.edu/.

International Students and Scholars (ISS) - ISS serves foreign students and scholars and enhances the global awareness of the University of Arkansas community. For information regarding resources and/or support for international students, please contact the Office of International Students and Scholars at (479) 575-5003 or visit their website at http://iss.uark.edu/.

Multicultural Center - The Multicultural Center exists to enhance the University of Arkansas academic experience by preparing students for life in a diverse society. The staff seeks to provide an environment that promotes cross-cultural interaction among all students; and to collaborate with the University community in providing educational, cultural, and social programs and resources to assist in the development and advancement of an inclusive learning community. For more information, please visit http://multicultural.uark.edu/ or call (479)575-3743.

NWA Crisis Intervention Hotline - The Northwest Arkansas Crisis Intervention Hotline provides immediate and confidential 24-hour telephone support service to those living in NW Arkansas counties. For further information, call (479) 756-1995. For crisis intervention call (479) 756-2337.

Off Campus Connections - This office provides prospective and currently enrolled non-traditional and commuter students with support, services, information and resources to meet their unique needs and enhance their opportunity for success at the University of Arkansas. For more information, call (479) 575-7351 or visit http://occ.uark.edu/.

Psychological Clinic - The UA's Psychological Clinic provides services to adults, adolescents and children including, but not limited to psychotherapy, psychological evaluation, and management skills training. Specialized evaluations for U of A students (i.e., ADA, Learning Disabilities) are available at reduced fixed rates, depending on the evaluation requested and the tests utilized. For more information, please visit http://www.uark.edu/depts/psyc/clinical.htm or call (479) 575-4258.

STAR Central - STAR Central is the Office of Support, Training, Advocacy, and Resources for the Issues of Sexual Assault and Relationship Violence. Individual services for victims of sexual assault or relationship violence and education programs are available. All individual services are confidential. For more information, call (479) 575-7252, or visit http://health.uark.edu/starcentral.php.

University of Arkansas Police Department - To ensure campus safety, the U of A Police Department is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to assist students. They can be reached at (479) 575-2222 or, in the event of an emergency, at 911. For additional information, visit the UAPD website at http://uapd.uark.edu/.

CAPS

(479) 575-5276

UAPD

(479) 575-2222

Psych Clinic

(479) 575-4258

Northwest Arkansas Rape Crisis Center

(479) 927-1020
or
(800) 794-4175

Arkansas Crisis Center

(888) 274-7472

Full Circle Food Pantry